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HOW TO STOP COMPARING: A POST FOR NEW BLOGGERS

Wellness

Vixens,

I’ve been thinking a lot about the blog the last few weeks.  For anyone reading who has a blog of their own, is an entrepreneur, or runs a creative side-gig after their 9-5 … you know how insanely time consuming + overwhelming it can be.

I’ve been blogging for just 3 short months now and lord is it a lot of work!  Like a ton, with a never ending to-do list attached to it.  The kind of to-do list where you cross off 5 tasks and 15 others get added shortly thereafter.

IE:  Learning SEO (WTF?), optimizing your Pinterest account, developing a # strategy for Instagram, reaching out to brands, growing your e-mail list, and brainstorming new content.  All this while trying to make money at your day job, hit the gym for a BBG sweat-sesh, maintain your love life/Bumble account, cook dinner and get drunk with your girls on the weekends (duh, priorities).

When I started, it was important for me to write about topics that were uplifting to women, topics I was actually passionate about, that focused on body positivity, wellness, nutrition, and feel-good beauty/fashion.  I wanted every woman who read/followed my work to feel adored and cheered on.

And, I still want to blog about those things!  However, I admittedly have fallen into the blogger comparison trap which has gotten in they way of me doing those things.  Can you relate?

When you start your own business, it’s easy to look at others doing the same thing and feel like it will be IMPOSSIBLE to get to their level (even though you know logically they’ve been it for like 1,5,10 years longer than you have).  Still, you can’t seem to wrap your head around how you’re going to make your Insta feed flawless/entice brands to want to partner with you.

Social media starts to become seriously fucking intimidating!

Whoops, I used the F-word, I attempted to give it up for Lent this year but failed.  It’s part of who I am … and I want my writing to reflect more of “me” going forward.  The sassy, snarky, overly emotional, loud, skinny marg loving, laugh-at-everything me!  I hope y’all are okay with that :).

And no, I’m not Southern what-so-over, but saying ‘you all’ just takes way too much extra breath.

Any who, back to my original point, there are MILLIONS of bloggers across all social platforms with perfect photos, all of which are color coordinated, shot beautifully, at the most exotic vacation destinations, with the lighting just right, and food laid-out in mouth watering fashion.

Yes, it’s the nature of the game, but when you’re just starting out it can surely make you feel … inferior.

Sometimes it feels like you’re drowning in a sea of people all fighting for the same spotlight.  How the hell can you possibly be noticed?  How do you stand out?  Do you need to spend your next bi-weekly paycheck on nicer clothes?  Do you need to be skinnier?  Taller?  More cultured?  Do you need to travel more?  Become a better cook (Blue Apron … hehe)?  Have 100k followers instead of 2k?

These questions have sadly all crossed my mind, and I’m sure many of you entrepreneurs can relate.

You ladies also all know I “preach” self-love and acceptance to no end.  And I believe in it 100%.  But, that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with the comparison battle.  I mean, what chick doesn’t at times?  At least I’m going to own it here!

I was just getting caught up on This Is Us (ADDICTING) and Duke said to Kate, “it’s a hell of a lot easier to accept who you are, in all your damaged glory, than to be someone you’re not.  And it’s a hell of a lot more fun, too.”  This hit me kinda hard.  It made me realize that I want to/should write about what is true to who I am.  And if you’re a new blogger, so should you.

In the beginning, you’re learning, you’re looking at other blogs, reading a ton, trying to figure out what your audience wants to consume, trying to grow faster so you don’t feel like you’re wasting your damn time (hello endless hours of editing pictures in Lightroom), trying to get more followers, trying to curate your feed in a way that “looks” super eye-catching, just trying, trying trying.

To be frank, it’s normal … but it’s important to not get lost in that cycle and forget who YOU are and what YOU stand for.

Forget about everyone else’s perfect feed, that’s not important.  What’s important is connecting with the audience you currently have, writing in your own style, and working hard to improve yourself personally … and not measuring your progress against anyone else but YOURSELF.

My absolute favorite entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk (if you haven’t listened to his podcast … you need to) relentlessly advocates PATIENCE.  I was tuned into his show this week and he spoke about how many people quit their side hustle after 3-6 months without really putting in the work.  Who get so caught up in the comparison game that they say screw it and stop.

He really challenged me to enjoy the struggle of building a business, to “eat shit” for awhile, to learn, to be self- aware, and to stop trying to be like anyone else.  Every second you waste trying to do that is time you’re wasting on building your own business.

I challenge anyone new to the blogger/entrepreneurship game to do just the same.  And I’m going to commit to writing more of what’s in my heart vs. what I’ve been trying to re-create from other successful bloggers out there!  I hope you stay true to you.  And most importantly, that you realize other people liking you is a bonus.  You liking yourself is the real prize.

Thank you endlessly for being a reader, I’m truly grateful.  Can’t wait to hear from you in the comments below or via DM on Instagram @chickycheers.  xo!

 

 

Love your biggest cheerleader,
Chicky

Hey, Beautiful (Yes, … YOU)

If this post added a little pep to your step then stay in the know! YAS it’s free ;)

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  • Jen

    Amazing girl! ?? No truer words spoke !!!

    • marla

      Thanks for supporting me, girl! Love you lots!

  • Francesca Black

    ????

    • marla

      Thanks for reading, xo!

  • Lorraine Cicchino

    So right girl, it is so much easier and healthier when you find acceptance of self.

    • marla

      Thanks for always teaching me that! Love you, Mom!

  • Roxanne

    YES. A million times yes. You do YOU girl, because that’s what I love and want to see. Put on those blinders, eat some shit (lol you know what I mean), swear a little, and plow forward creating content YOU love! I’m here for you!
    –Roxanne
    http://glassofglamc.om

    • marla

      You are so sweet for reading! I’m really happy we connected, it’s nice to have another fellow blogger to learn from! xo

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